Mary Manipulated
by TheMusicGirl
Summary: Hopefully, this is a funny fic about Mary Poppins. She's acting very strange, and Bert has to explain to the children why. MaryBert at the end.


Mary Manipulated

A/N: Another fic inspired by Mary Poppins YouTube videos, and I guess other fanfics. Ha, this is getting lame. Imagine them as the characters from the Disney movie please. You'll see why. Oh, and the ending is a little cheesy.

* * *

It was a bright Saturday morning and Mary Poppins and the children were waiting for Bert to stop by so that they could go to the park together. But Jane and Michael were very confused. Mary Poppins was acting rather strange. She kept muttering to herself and looking up and glaring, and do things that were very un-Mary-Poppins-ish. They hoped that Bert would be able to tell them what was the matter with their nanny. It wasn't long before there was a knock at the door, and the children ran down from the nursery to answer it. They were so glad to see Bert.

"Bert!" said Jane, "There's something wrong with Mary Poppins!"

Bert frowned in concern.

"Why, what's the matter with her? Is she sick or something?"

"No!" replied Michael, "She's been acting really strange."

"She keeps muttering to herself and glaring up at the ceiling, although we have no idea why," said Jane, sounding very worried. To the children's surprise Bert actually grinned a little.

"I think I know what's going on. Come on, let's go talk to her."

Bert and the children walked up to the nursery where Mary Poppins was pacing, muttering, and glaring up at the ceiling as the children had said. Mary looked up and saw Bert and smiled.

"Oh, thank goodness you're here! She's driving me insane!"

"ME?!" asked Jane in horror.

Bert laughed.

"Don't worry, she's not talking about you," he looked at Mary, "So she's at it again is she?"

"Yes," said Mary angrily.

"The usual?"

"Yes, but worse."

Meanwhile the children were even more confused than before.

"What are they talking about?" Michael asked Jane, "Who is 'she'?"

Bert looked at Mary.

"Why didn't you just tell them?"

Mary rolled her eyes. A very un-Mary-Poppins-ish thing to do.

"Because they probably wouldn't believe me," she said.

Bert rolled his eyes right back at her and then turned to the childred.

"The reason that Mary Poppins has been acting strange is because The Almighty Movie Maker and Fan Fiction Writer is up to her normal stuff. And she's up there. See?"

Bert pointed up, and the children gasped as they were able to see through the ceiling to what looked like a teenager up in the sky.

"Is that-?"

"The Almighty Movie Maker and Fan Fiction Writer? Yes. Or TAMMFFW for short."

Michael gaped.

"What does she do?"

Bert sighed. This was going to take a while.

"She makes movies and writes fan fiction."

"Bert, this is 1910, the children wouldn't know what movies and fan fiction are."

"I was getting to that. You see, movies are moving pictures, and fan fiction is when someone writes a story about characters in a book, or movie, or something like that."

"So what does that have to do with Mary Poppins?" asked Jane, "She's a real live person, not a character in a book or movie."

Bert smiled.

"Ah, but that is where you are wrong. You see, we are all characters from a book, a movie based on the book, and a musical based on the books. But we most resemble the likeliness of the characters from the movie that was made. You see, we –"

"I am going to bake you into a pie!" said Mary Poppins suddenly, looking possessed. As quickly as it had come, it was gone, and she looked normal again. She looked up and glared at TAMMFFW, who smiled sweetly back at her. Bert looked at her amused.

"Did she just try to do a crossover of us and Sweeney Todd?"

Mary nodded, still glaring a TAMMFFW.

"That's a new one. Anyway, we are just fictations, meaning, we are what everyone imagines us as. We are fictations of the movie made by Disney, Mary Poppins, which is based off the book by P. L. Tavers. As fictations, technically, you will never grow up, and Mary and I will never die of old age and such. At least, until TAMMFFW says so. She has almost complete and total power over us and what we do. So Mary Poppins is acting strange because TAMMFFW is doing something with her character in a movie she is making, or a fan fiction she is writing."

"So why aren't we acting strange?" asked Jane.

"Either because we are not included in whatever TAMMFFW is doing, or she is portraying us exactly as we are characterized in the movie."

"Ohhh…" said the two children. Mary Poppins abruptly started singing 'Supercalafagalisticexpealadocious' extremely fast and in a very high pitched voice. When she was done she again glared at TAMMFFW.

"Will you stop that _please_?!" asked Mary exasperated.

"No, I don't think I will," replied TAMMFFW, "It's fun."

So TAMMFFW, as evil as she was, made Mary Poppins repeat the song, instead very slowly, and with a deep voice.

"How long will this last?" asked Michael worriedly, watching Mary.

"Oh, maybe a day or two… three at the worst, but that usually doesn't happen."

Bert realized that quite unexpectantly, he was in a rather awkward position with Mary. After a moment or two, she was finally able to get off of him.

"STOP IT!" they both yelled up.

"I shan't," said TAMMFFWW.

"Please?" asked Mary Poppins.

"No."

"Come along now! Spit spot! Please behave!"

TAMMFFW looked at her amusedly.

"Who are you to tell me what to do? It's the other way around I'm afraid my dear."

"So?"

"I'm in total power of you Mary Poppins and you need to get over it."

"I will not allow myself to be manipulated by _you_."

"Um, too late."

"I'm Practically Perfect! I will not allow this!"

"I can change that!"

Mary Poppins' magic measuring tape appeared in front of her and she measured herself. She was no longer 'Practically Perfect", but now 'Practically Dreadful'.

"Oh, I can't do that! I love Julie Andrews too much," said TAMMFFW as the tape changed from 'Practically Dreadful' to 'Almost Perfect'. "There. I can live with that," said TAMMFFW happily.

"But I can't!" said Mary angrily.

" Get over it!" said TAMMFFW.

"Mary, relax, you know this will only last for a day or two, and then it'll be all over," said Bert soothingly, trying to get her to calm down. Mary turned to Bert.

"Bert! Make love to me!"

Bert stood there, a little shocked, but knowing that it was the work of TAMMFFW, so he chose to ignore it.

"EWWWW!" said the children, thoroughly grossed out.

Mary shook her head, coming back to normality. She looked at Bert worriedly.

"Did I just say that out loud?"

"Yep," said TAMMFFW smugly.

Mary looked up at TAMMFFW.

"You are one perverse little person."

"And…?"

"And well, that's perverse. You shouldn't do that."

TAMMFFW raised her eyebrows.

"You seem to keep forgetting who's in charge in this wonderful world of fictations. You might as well stop trying to boss me around, or else I will be forced to take drastic measures."

"Like what?"

"Are you actually asking me to take these drastic measures?

"NO!"

"Then don't ask," said TAMMFFW sweetly.

Bert sighed. The battle between Mary Poppins and TAMMFFW always lasted forever. If Bert didn't know any better, he would say that they _liked_ to argue like this, but Practically Perfect people don't like to argue, though he wouldn't be surprised if TAMMFFW was enjoying this argument.

"Poor Mary Poppins," said Jane quietly to Michael.

"I hope she doesn't ever try to make a movie or write a fan fiction about _us_," said Michael worriedly, as they watched Mary Poppins battle against TAMMFFW for the rest of the day.

Finally, at the end of the day, TAMMFFW gave up her battle, and Mary Poppins was back to normal.

"Children, I'm so sorry about not going to the park today. I promise we will go tomorrow," said Mary Poppins, looking apologetically at the children.

"It's alright Mary Poppins!" said Jane, before she and Michael left the nursery to go to dinner.

Mary sat down in the nearest chair, exhausted. Bert smiled and patted her back.

"Is Mary Poppins back again?" he asked.

"Yes. I just hope _she_ doesn't act up again. I always hate arguing unnecessarily with her," said Mary. She looked at him. "Bert, I love you."

"I thought the real you was back!" he said, looking up.

"I am. And that's how I feel about you Bert," she said, taking his hand. Bert smiled.

"And if you must know, I love you too Mary Poppins," he said, taking her other hand.

Mary Poppins smiled. Maybe being manipluated by TAMMFFW for a day wasn't so bad after all.


End file.
